It was the week before my 15th wedding anniversary. Two days before, I starred at my calendar. Tears began to flow. What do we have in common? Do I even know him anymore? What does he want for our anniversary? We had already been through so much together and yet I still felt so much distance. We had been working together on projects around the house and though this gave us a common ground on which to meet each other, there still seemed to be something missing. Why did I still feel there was a vast canyon between us? Isn’t this what we had been working on for the past two years of our marriage.
I was scared.
Then I remembered…cycling.
We had bought pretty amazing road bikes the year before. I had been on and off with the idea of cycling. After all, I always felt so behind when riding with him. I didn’t feel confident in the saddle. He was faster, stronger, and better than I. This, for whatever reason, intimidated me. I would beat myself up on the rides we did do together and my self-talk was anything but positive. The result, unfortunately, was a lost desire to join him out on the road. But, I refused to give up.
And so I pushed harder.
Kidcation 2015 came – this is when we sent the littles off to Camp Grandma and Grandpa’s for a week – and here I began to focus and work harder than I ever had. I began thinking more about what I was putting into my body, knowing that doing so would help increase my stamina on the road and in the saddle. That week alone we rode some 300 miles together – one of which was a 63 mile group ride. It was awesome! I learned that week that I am capable and that this is something we can do together. He’s still faster than I, and while I know he still needs to be challenged through weekly rides with the guys, I at least know I’m a part of this and that we are a team. Though he’ll still do many rides without me, I know the races are there for me too. And, I know he’ll always be at the finish line cheering me on….until I pass him that is. 🙂 ha!
Yes, it’s scary and oh so challenging for a girl who was never really all that athletic. But, it’s not as scary as not having him by my side.
And so I’ll ride. I’ll run. I’ll swim. And have a cheerleader with me through it all!
What about you? Are you looking across the table at your spouse wondering, ‘What do we have in common besides our kids?’ If so, I encourage you, find something and start building a life together. After all, the day will come when it will just be you and him all over again.
Til next time,