If there is something I cannot stand, it is another telling me that something I desire is not possible. In those moments I find something inside rage and say, “I’ll show you otherwise.” Most of my life, this proved to be my mission. I was told there were those that were born with talents and those that were born with gifts. I had talents. But the “gift giver” stopped shy of blessing me with natural abilities.
After years of therapy, I have overcome what was said to me and how I took it to be. But one thing that remains is my belief that one can grow in areas exponentially if given the right support.
It turns out this serves me well as a mom of a special needs child. After all, I hear over and over sentiments such as, “This is as far as she is going to go;” “This is the best her vision will be;” “A diploma is not likely.” And though these statements may bare some weight in truth, I never allow them room to go beyond what I believe….that anything is possible with God.
And so I do what I can, where I can and hope for the best.
It is why I research as much as I do about the brain and the foods we put into our bodies. It is why I make sure my kids have whole foods, healthy after school snacks and dinners that feed and nourish the organ that gets to say where she will and won’t go. I struggle at times to make things easier for her, struggling to watch her fight. And yet I’m trying to let go of this, for I know her “fight” will serve her well down the road.
I find myself at times getting angry with teachers when I don’t believe I am being heard. Or doctors who poo-poo her brains ability to continue to develop past a certain age. For my research has told me otherwise.
My anger is a motivator.
It pushes me to fight and to research more. While I know that my control is limited there are some areas God has given me reign over. And so, in those places, I will fight for her brain’s ability to develop. For the neurons, pathways and necessary synapses to grow and regenerate. For the brain does have this ability. And I do have a level of control here. I can help by cutting out foods that are against her brain and adding in those that are necessary. By keeping her in activities like swimming so that her brains regenerating growth hormone receives what it needs to continue to develop. It is why I use DDR Prime Essential Oils on her twice a day to fight the free radicals from fighting against the good cells that are already there. And why she receives fish oil on a daily basis. Needless to say, while my anger – at one time – was against those who told me “no way,” it is now directed for good at those who tell my girl, “it’s not possible.”
I will wait. I will see. I will hope. And in the end, I will know that wherever she lands she lands in the palm of His hand. For only by way of Him, have I become the mom she needs. The mom who is fighting for her to have the life, He is designing her.
My anger is a good thing.
It has taken me years to come to see this emotion as something that is beneficial in a world where it seems harsh and unforgiving. For I had come to fear anger, because I have seen the effects of it. But by God’s grace, a whole lot of counseling, and this book, I was able to see it for what it is. Anger is a motivator. And it motivates me to fight.
Do you fear anger? Did you know it is an action that motivates you and can be used for good? I encourage you to consider researching the state of our emotions through the book, Voice of the Heart. For yes, they can be negative, but they also have a very positive side in our lives.
I am grateful to know both.
Till next time,
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